I Love, You. E
The purpose of my writings is to express my inner world: everything I write is an intimate conversation between pen and paper. The purpose of sharing these writings is to provide hope for anyone -even if it is just one person- who may be experiencing something similar. To feel alone in this vast universe is an unfortunate and harrowing experience. I should know, that I spent most of my life feeling alone and as if I didn’t belong. When I write I feel like I belong, like I have purpose: my life has meaning. Before I continue, thank you dear reader for embarking on this adventure with me. Sincerely, I thank you.
The last year and some odd months have been a period of great loss for me personally. The last year has also been a period of connecting with my inner self and acceptance and defense of self: a period of great discovery. This poem starts with some of the most hurtful and harsh words that were written for me. They were not intended to be harsh, or even hurtful. In fact, the author wrote them with love and their goal was to soothe. Yet, contradictory actions and those words would damage my heart and fill me with great emotional pain. Within that pain, I discovered myself.
Loss can either be an impenetrable mist hiding all things or a great light revealing great mysteries.
I Love You, E
“The world owes you a debt that cannot be paid… I see you… anyone that gets to is privileged.” -K
Privileged…
The scars on my skin are nothing compared to the scars covering my soul: sexually abused from 5-10; emotionally abused from birth to… physically abused by parents who said it was all in love. Abused by my own tongue and, hand.
Privileged…
All I ever wanted, since a child, was someone to hold me, to be there, never to leave me. A person who would not pity, but respect the person I am -regardless of my flaws.
Privileged…
Flaws that I did not ask for-wounds I could not protect myself from. Yet, all of them, the reaction to, I am responsible for.
Privileged…
If you want to walk by my side throw your pity to the swine.
All I want is someone who will say-
“The world owes you a debt that cannot be paid. And I am privileged to be a part of your story. I see you. I love you. I support you.” -EJB
For, those are the words I tell myself.
I see you, E!
I love you, E!
I support you, E!
I LOVE YOU, E!
-EJB.
