I Don’t Belong

When exactly the feeling of not belonging began will remain forever a mystery to me. Only in the last year as I became more aware of my body, mind, and soul was I able to identify this feeling of oddity that kept from fitting in wherever I went. Kept me from experiencing acceptance into the group. Perhaps I stopped belonging after the abuse: perhaps I was born to not belong. Whatever the truth-any journey to know its origin is a practice in futility- the reality is that I’ve seen the world from a differently for as long as I can remember. And in a way I have not identified others as seeing it-or have not been aware enough to understand I am not the only one. What I do know is that this feeling of not belonging is not unique to me-perhaps, you feel it, too. This is why I write: as a young child books, poetry, and music were my escape from the harsh reality I was subjected to. They freed me from the pain and suffering: from the abuse. And maybe by writing my truth and sharing you I can be a part of the puzzle that helped me. I might not belong, but I can find a place where I am wanted.

I DON’T BELONG

I don’t belong in this world.

Many dislike my difference to them.

I have found not one,

Who accepts me as I am.

Not the way I do

None have loved me despite it all,

Not the way I do

Like a ghost uninvited

I flit back and forth

The chill air in my wake

Haunting my every breath.

I know I’m not the only one haunted by this.

My home rests here-in my poetry

Revealing to you

You’re loved just the way you are,

Flaws and all.

You, too, should not feel so alone.

And, when those feelings rise inside you

Know this, dear friend, I’m right there with you.

Despite it all,

Like a friend invited

Cheering your every step

And in our wake a tsunami of change crashes

You belong no matter your difference.