My Vision

*Everything I write is from my own personal experience. I am not a medical professional or therapist. What you read is my journey*

Imagine you attended a wedding. You are one of the 200 guests the bride and groom invited. As you sit in the church pew you look out at the wedding party. Six groomsmen and six bridesmaids stand in beautifully formal dress. It is unlikely that you would have the thought, “1 of those bridesmaids and 1 of those groomsmen have been sexually abused.” Though, that is the fact.

I chose that image, because it is relatable and contrasts the beauty of a wedding with the ugliness of sexual trauma. I chose that image because sexual abuse is a problem that rages on with little attention, and to combat that we need to draw our attention to it. Those who have experience sexual trauma can not be the only ones who know the facts.

My vision for the platform I am building is twofold: 1. Inspire men to face their sexual trauma and 2. To give people an honest and raw view into what life is like for someone healing from sexual trauma. To be sure, these are not conversations anyone wants to have. However, these are conversations that need to be had. We must as society shine light on the darkness that hides sexual abuse. Where there is light there cannot be darkness. We cannot eradicate sexual abuse, but by educating ourselves we can reduce the number of those abused and make society safer for those who were.

I thank you for your support.

I commend you for being part of the solution.

One Voice in a Sea of Voices

“This," cried the Mayor, "is your town's darkest hour!
The time for all Whos who have blood that is red
To come to the aid of their country!" he said.
"We've GOT to make noises in greater amounts!
So, open your mouth, lad! For every voice counts!”
― Horton Hears a Who!

This blog, and podcast, is just one voice in a sea of voices.

1 in 6 men are victims of sexual abuse. The toughest part about the 1 in 6 statistic is the many men who are victims of sexual abuse that have died without confronting their abuse and healing from their trauma. They will die without telling their story. Certainly, we have lost great men, souls, and future progress because of this.

No one should go through the recovery of traumatic events alone. Yet, in our society to be a man is to ignore the inner screams of torment and forge forward. Though their vessel may be cracking under the pressure and their plight uncertain we require men to show no weakness. If they do show weakness they are instantly thought of as less-than-manly. This archaic belief has cost society dearly. This blog seeks to be one of the voices that helps spring us to a more evolved view of manliness.

I was raised ion the Fox River in a 3-bedroom 2.5 bath house (the extra toilet was in the laundry room). With 7-siblings we were an above average family. As you can see from the photos on this site as a young child I could be found with a smile on my face, a smile that hid a deep wound. A wound that I would not revisit until 2010. But I don’t want to spoil Tears of a Poet: A Selection of Poems. The last three years have been the most intense of my recovery. Through therapy and reading I have come to understand much about myself and how the trauma of my childhood sexual abuse influenced my life. I like to use a broken arm analogy to describe what this trauma does to a person:

Imagine you are driving a bike and you hit a stone, the bike flips, and your arm breaks. Immediately your parents take you to the hospital and the doctor resets you arm. Eventually you heal, but every now and then you notice a difference with your arm. Traumatic events are similar, but your brain is broken and often it remains broken for decades before healing begins. And when you are recovered, there are differences that will always remain.

With all that said, welcome to Tears of a Poet. I hope you find it a helpful resource.